( i n b o x )

[cawmemaybe]

its house number 1462 you big dumpass

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[cawmemaybe]

Yeah, always ready to go my ass.

[ Dave just looks at him. A second passes by. And then another, and another. Until he gets sick of it and just slumps onto Bro's prone form like a secondary ninja slug. ]

You smell like the shitty alcohol you drank. Gross.

[ironies]

[Bro lies there with his arms out like he got knocked the fuck out.]

Yooooou's a hater, yo, 'cause I was basically drinkin' the finest Courvoisier.

[He forces a burp up at Dave. More like spiked punch.]

[cawmemaybe]

[ If Dave still had his wings, he would have smacked Bro with them for that. Goddammit, that was just gross. He had to turn his head away, but he wasn't sliding off Bro's body.

His fat ass is there to stay. ]

Yeah, right. That poor excuse for a dance didn't have enough money to fund your classy choices. Bet'cha all you had was some cheap beer.

[ironies]

[Burps again.

Harder.

Louder.

Best bro.]

Either way, you weren't there, sucka.

[cawmemaybe]

[ He sure wished he drank a whole case of apple juice before coming here. At least then he'd have a chance in this burp-o-rama madness.

But alas.

Instead, he settles for rolling on Bro, with his back awkwardly resting on that man-bosom. ]

So what. Shitty beer is still shitty beer.

[ironies]

I think someone's pissed at havin' to sip OJ all damn day.

[did he mean aj

who knows




Bro lies there while Dave's on him, blinking.]

I ain't a fire, stop rollin' on me.

[cawmemaybe]

Why the hell would I cheat on my one and only. That's just wrong on so many levels. And the fact that you're insinuating I'd drink anything other than AJ is pretty damn insulting, man. You're drunk. Stop.

[ Just for that, he just rolls over Bro some more. :B ]

[ironies]

No you're fuckin' drunk, and shit, and like. Yeah. Pissy drunk. Offa Henny and skunk.

[Bro quotes rap lyrics when he's wasted and nobody's surprised.

When Dave rolls again he shoves the kid, hard. Like really hard.

But it's cool because there's a bigass smuppet pile nearby to cushion the impact :)]

[cawmemaybe]

Can't we all just get—

[ Face, meet smuppet pile. Cue: Dave jerking away from the plush. There's nowhere else to go so he decides to just sit on top of Bro. ]

Can you go to bed now??

[ironies]

You can't make me.

[That push seems to have worn Bro out, and he decides to lie there prone, not bothering to move.]

[cawmemaybe]

If I punch you in the face, I can.

[ But his hands have other ideas. He reaches out for a bunch of smuppets, and starts piling them all around Bro. ]

[ironies]

[Completely unfazed.]

Not the face. This face gets me laid.

[Bro hasn't had sex with anyone since he came here what's he talking about.]

[cawmemaybe]

Yeah, sure. The only person you've had sex with lately is your hand, I bet. Handsie Strider is gonna be damn upset to see your face all puffed up because of the couple of punches I'ma throw its way.

[ Still planting smuppets all over. Not that there's enough to completely go around Bro, but whatever. He's trying. ]

[ironies]

Shut the fuck up.

[He's too far gone to think of a cleverer comeback. Instead he just continues to lie there.]

The smuppet pile doesn't stop from getting taller.

[cawmemaybe]

[ Meanwhile, Dave continues to sit on him, building his nest of plush rumps. ]

Do you have any more?

[ironies]

Ohhhhh, D-man finally gots the hots for some ssssss-muppets. Knew you'd come around someday.

[He's just lying there uselessly.]

Upstairs or some shit.

[cawmemaybe]

Fuck off, I still hate 'em.

[ Slowly, he gets up on his feet. Makes his way up the stairs. ]

Don't move an inch or you're gonna ruin everything.

[ And he's gone. Only to come back minutes later with a pile on his hands, which he casually dumps all over Bro. ]

[ironies]

Just like... your face.

[Basically shouting to himself at this point. When Dave comes back, he's half conked out.]

[cawmemaybe]

[ Is he enough of an asshole to just bodyslam Bro on the chest.

Nah.

He'll flop over on top of him and the plush mountain instead. ]

Are you asleep.